Roberto Abraham Scaruffi

Saturday 27 July 2013


Friday, 26 July 2013

SOTT Focus
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--- Best of the Web
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Puppet Masters
Haaretz
2013-07-26 15:35:00

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Diplomat says move is part of Israeli response to new settlement guidelines; Ashton's spokesperson: EU hasn't received official communication on orders to limit work with EU on the ground, is seeking 'urgent clarifications.'

Several European aid staff have been barred from entering Gaza as part of Israeli measures in the wake of new EU guidelines barring cooperation with settlements, a western diplomat said Friday.

The diplomat, speaking on condition of anonymity, said the humanitarian aid staff had failed to receive permits to enter the Gaza Strip.

On Thursday, Defense Minister Moshe Ya'alon ordered defense officials to halt cooperation on the ground with EU representatives. This includes any assistance to EU infrastructure projects in Area C, which is under full Israeli civilian and military control. Ya'alon also reportedly planned to make it more difficult for EU officials to pass through the Erez Crossing, to the Gaza Strip or back to Israel.
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Kevin Gosztola
The Dissenter
2013-07-22 15:52:00

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An assessment produced by the Pakistan government on dozens of drone strikes conducted by the CIA that was not intended to be released to the public has leaked. The document shows that dozens of children were killed by drones between 2006 and 2009.

The report titled, "Details of Attacks by NATO Forces/Predators in FATA," was "obtained from three independent sources," according to The Bureau of Investigative Journalism (TBIJ). It covers seventy-five drone strikes that occurred from January 13, 2006, to October 24, 2009.

TBIJ details:
Drawn from field reports by local officials in Pakistan's Federally Administered Tribal Areas, the document lists over 70 drone strikes between 2006 and late 2009, alongside a small number of other incidents such as alleged Nato attacks and strikes by unspecified forces.

Of 746 people listed as killed in the drone strikes, at least 147 of the dead are clearly stated by the leaked report to be civilian victims. Some 94 of these are said to be children.

Some CIA strikes are missing from the document. None of the five reported strikes for 2007 are listed, for example. Also missing are any biographical details of those killed, although the genders of many victims are reported and - where known - whether any children died.

The document also fails to mention details of a number of senior militant commanders known to have died in the attacks. [emphasis added]
Yet again, here is an example of how a leak can be immensely valuable to the public's understanding of government operations.

The US, as the TBIJ rightfully points out,
The numbers recorded are much higher than those provided by the US administration, which continues to insist that no more than 50 to 60 'non-combatants' have been killed by the CIA across the entire nine years of Pakistan bombings. New CIA director John Brennan has described claims to the contrary as 'intentional misrepresentations'.
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Aliya Sternstein
Defense One
2013-07-25 15:09:00

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He works at one of the three-letter intelligence agencies and oversees construction of a $1.2 billion surveillance data center in Utah that is 15 times the size of MetLife Stadium, home to the New York Giants and Jets. Long Island native Harvey Davis, a top National Security Agency official, needs that commanding presence. His role is to supervise infrastructure construction worldwide for NSA, which is part of the Defense Department. That involves tending to logistics, military installations, as well as power, space and cooling for all NSA data centers.

In May, crews broke ground on a $792 million computing center at the agency's headquarters near Baltimore that will complement the Utah site. Together the Utah center and Maryland's 28-acre computer farm span 228 acres - more than seven times the size of the Pentagon.

During an interview with Government Executive in June, amid the uproar over leaked details of NSA's domestic espionage activities, Davis describes the 200-acre Utah facility as very transparent: "Only brick and mortar." A data center just provides energy and chills machines, he says.

About 6,500 contractors, along with more than 150 Army Corps of Engineers and NSA workers, including some with special needs, are assigned to the project. Davis perks up when he talks about the hundreds of individuals with disabilities he has steered into NSA.

But ask him why the facility is so big and what's inside, and he is less forthcoming. "I think we're crossing into content. It's big because it's required to be big," says Davis, a 30-year veteran of the spy agency.


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The Independent, UK
2013-07-26 12:00:00

The Spanish government has been criticised for "cutting and pasting" a message of condolence to the families of victims of the train crash in Garcia that has left at least 80 dead.

The message, posted online and attributed to the Prime Minister, Mariano Rajoy, appeared to have been copied from an earlier note of condolence to victims of an earthquake in China.

"I want to convey my deepest condolences for the loss of life and material damage brought by the earthquake that took place this morning in Gansu," read the message, referring to the town where the earthquake took place.

Also in the note, Mr Rajoy said he is dismayed "as a Spaniard and a Galician" at the news of the derailment near Santiago de Compostela, the Prime Minister's home town.
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Bill Van Auken
globalresearch.ca
2013-07-25 09:46:00

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This week's deployment of Blackhawk helicopters in Chicago is only the latest in a series of "urban warfare training" exercises that have become a familiar feature of American life.

As elsewhere, this exercise was sprung unannounced on a startled civilian population. Conducted in secrecy, apparently with the collusion of local police agencies and elected officials, Democrats and Republicans alike, the ostensible purpose of these exercises is to give US troops experience in what Pentagon doctrine refers to as "Military Operations on Urban Terrain."

Such operations are unquestionably of central importance to the US military. Over the past decade, its primary mission, as evidenced in Afghanistan and Iraq, has been the invasion and occupation of relatively powerless countries and the subjugation of their resisting populations, often in house-to-house fighting in urban centers.

The Army operates a 1,000 acre Urban Training Center in south-central Indiana that boasts over 1,500 "training structures" designed to simulate houses, schools, hospitals and factories. The center's web site states that it "can be tailored to replicate both foreign and domestic scenarios."

What does flying Blackhawks low over Chicago apartment buildings or rolling armored military convoys through the streets of St. Louis accomplish that cannot be achieved through the sprawling training center's simulations? Last year alone, there were at least seven such exercises, including in Los Angeles, Chicago, Miami, Tampa, St. Louis, Minneapolis and Creeds, Virginia.

The most obvious answer is that these exercises accustom troops to operating in US cities, while desensitizing the American people to the domestic deployment of US military might.
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Society's Child
Uprising Radio
2013-07-26 17:11:00

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(Click here to listen to the show)

A series of unexplained leaks in Alberta, Canada, have continued unabated for more than 2 months, leading to outrage among residents of surrounding areas and environmentalists.

The Primrose site uses a controversial method of extracting bitumen called "cyclic steam stimulation," or simply "huff and puff."

Because the spills have occurred on a military testing site, media and public access to the affected areas have been restricted.
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The Guardian
2013-07-25 15:21:00
Juror B29 spoke to Good Morning America and cited the lack of evidence as the reason George Zimmerman walked free.

A second juror in the trial of George Zimmerman has given a TV interview saying the former neighborhood watch volunteer "got away with murder" when he was acquitted earlier this month in the shooting death of black, unarmed teenager Trayvon Martin.

The woman, identified in court as juror B29, who is part Hispanic, said she would have liked to convict Zimmerman of murdering Martin but said her hands were tied by a lack of evidence.

"You can't put the man in jail even though in our hearts we felt he was guilty," she told ABC's Robin Roberts in an interview due to be aired on Friday morning. "But we had to grab our hearts and put it aside and look at the evidence," the woman said.
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The Guardian
2013-07-26 15:04:00

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Three suspects still at large in alleged global racket involving credit card details being stolen and traded online.


Federal prosecutors in the US have charged five men blamed for a hacking and credit card fraud spree that cost companies more US$300million. Two of the suspects are in custody in the biggest cybercrime case filed in US history.

Authorities also disclosed a new security breach against Nasdaq but provided few details.

Other companies alleged to have been targeted by the men include a Visa licensee, JC Penney Co, JetBlue Airways and the French retailer Carrefour, according to an indictment unveiled in New Jersey.

Authorities had been pursing the men for years. Many of the breaches had previously become public, though it appeared the one involving Nasdaq OMX Group Inc was being disclosed for the first time.
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Matt Blake
The Daily Mail, UK
2013-07-26 12:58:00
Video shows masked man lie on train track in Holland as train approaches

Passenger train suddenly speeds past with man still on the track

Police are now hunting for the man after the video was posted online


This is certainly one way to put your life on the line... and at the very least is a fast-track to an early grave.

But somehow the masked daredevil in this video survived after lying on a railway in Holland as a high-speed train sped over his body.

Police are now hunting the unidentified prankster whose stunt was filmed by a friend and posted online.

Scroll down for video

The footage begins with the young man talking to the camera wearing a white mask before walking over to the rail line.

Moments after he lies down, the train whooshes over him. He then stands up with obvious delight and performs a victory dance for the camera.

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John Pilger
globalresearch.ca
2013-07-25 10:14:00
I have known my postman for more than 20 years. Conscientious and good-humoured, he is the embodiment of public service at its best. The other day, I asked him, "Why are you standing in front of each door like a soldier on parade?"

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"New system," he replied, "I am no longer required simply to post the letters through the door. I have to approach every door in a certain way and put the letters through in a certain way."

"Why?"

"Ask him."

Across the street was a solemn young man, clipboard in hand, whose job was to stalk postmen and see they abided by the new rules, no doubt in preparation for privatisation. I told the stalker my postman was admirable. His face remained flat, except for a momentary flicker of confusion.

In Brave New World Revisited, Aldous Huxley describes a new class conditioned to a normality that is not normal "because they are so well adjusted to our mode of existence, because their human voice has been silenced so early in their lives, that they do not even struggle or suffer or develop symptoms as the neurotic does".

Surveillance is normal in the Age of Regression - as Edward Snowden revealed. Ubiquitous cameras are normal. Subverted freedoms are normal. Effective public dissent is now controlled by police, whose intimidation is normal.
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Harriet Alexander
Everyday Worldwide
2013-07-26 04:24:00

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The driver of the train that crashed in northern Spain, killing at least 78 people, made a panicked phone call moments before the crash saying that the train was going too fast.

"I'm at 190 (kmph) and I'm going to derail!" the engine driver told the controllers of RENFE, the rail network.

Two men were at the controls of the train at the time, and it was not clear who had made the call.

Police sources told Spanish newspaper El Pais that, moments after the crash, the traumatised driver made another call to the operator.
Comment: This odd detail needs to be explained. If the driver knew he was going too fast, and had time to contact his operator to inform them that he was about to derail, why was he unable to do anything to avoid the outcome he foresaw?
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Sarah Rae Fruchtnicht
Opposing Views
2013-07-24 00:00:00

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A Washington man posted flyers in his Marysville neighborhood after his service dog, Nanna, went missing. When police called him, instead of giving him good news, they told him if he put up any more flyers, they would fine him $250 and he would recieve a day in jail for each one.

Shawn Slater, 34, suffers from post traumatic stress disorder. He suffered seizures and took a great deal of anxiety medication before he got Nanna. Nanna is a certified medical alert and therapy dog.

"With Nanna, I didn't take any medication at all," Slater said. "I was two years clean off all those drugs. I didn't have problems. I didn't even have to take her everywhere I went. I'm finally employed again."

On July 4, the fireworks in the neighborhood frightened the dog. Nanna forced her way through a hole in the fence and ripped off her dog tags as she escaped.

After Slater and friends put up signs looking for Nanna, he received a phone call from police. Posting the signs to utility poles and other city property is apparently illegal.

"If I were to put another sign up, I will be getting a $250 fine and a day in jail per sign," Slater said the caller told him.
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Jonathan Wolfe
Opposing Views
2013-07-23 00:00:00

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Ohio resident Katie Barnett is understandably furious after she came home from a two-week trip only to find her house had been accidentally repossessed.

Barnett became suspicious of something when her key would no longer open her door. She was forced to crawl through a window into her house. Once inside, she saw that everything was gone.

Barnett soon found out that First National Bank in Wellston, Ohio had accidentally repossessed her home.

"They repossessed my house on accident, thinking it was the house across the street," Barnett said. "They told me that the GPS led them to my house. My grass hadn't been mowed and they just assumed."

As if having all of your belongings taken from you isn't bad enough, Barnett says the bank is now refusing to pay her back enough money to replace her items, most of which have been thrown away or sold by the bank.

Barnett estimated that she would need $18,000 to replace her belongings, but the bank won't pay up.
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Jonathan Wolfe
Opposing Views
2013-07-24 00:00:00

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Yesterday, we told you about this Ohio woman who had her home wrongfully repossessed. Today, we have got a similar story developing in Indiana.

RTV-6, an Indiana ABC affiliate, broke the story of Michael, who wished to remain anonymous beyond his first name, and his family of four's townhouse. The family lived in the house for 10 years, but recently decided to rent out the townhouse to move into a more spacious home. They found a tenant to rent the old townhouse but were forced to repay the rent the new tenant paid when, without warning, their mortgage company shut off utilities to the house and changed all the locks.

The locks were changed despite Michael being completely up-to-date on his mortgage payments on the home. Michael hired Indiana attorney Kathy Davis to handle their case. Davis said when she called the mortgage company, she received a response she had never heard before.

"The woman told me - this is something I'll never forget, honestly - she told me that they were the mortgage company, and if they wanted to change your locks, they could," Davis said.
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Secret History
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Science & Technology
scoop.co.nz
2013-07-26 11:39:00
The life and death of the world's tallest species of bird is the focus of a new book being published by Craig Potton Publishing this month.


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'First we killed them, then we ate them, and then we forgot about them,' says Quinn Berentson, author of Moa: The life and death of New Zealand's legendary bird. 'Human beings have not been kind to the moa, and the biggest insult is we've almost completely forgotten about them. Like most 'Kiwis' I realised I actually knew nothing about the really iconic and unique birds that made New Zealand famous around the world - the moa. Writing the book is my attempt to get the real story of the moa out there and remind us all what we lost.'

The moa are arguably the most unusual and unique family of birds that have ever lived but they became extinct reasonably quickly after the arrival of the Maori in New Zealand, and were a distant memory by the time European explorers arrived in the country. So the identification of their bones in the 1840s caused a worldwide sensation. 'The discovery was described at the time as "the zoological find of the century," and the surprising discoveries have persisted until the present day,' says Quinn.

'The moa has fascinated and bamboozled the finest minds in natural history for 170 years and so, rather than write an encyclopaedia, I've tried to tell the story of its rediscovery - with all the twists and turns, devious personalities and unlikely events - and summarize the latest scientific discoveries that have occurred in just the last few years and have totally changed our perception of the giant birds.

Basically almost everything we thought we knew about the moa has been turned on its head over the last 10 years because of advanced DNA analysis. It turns out for most of the last 170 years we had a totally mistaken view of what the birds looked like, how they lived and even where they lived. Now New Zealand scientists have finally solved many of the mysteries that baffled the best minds in natural science for the last century.'

'It's a serious book about a popular subject and will fill a real gap in our natural history literature,' says publisher Robbie Burton. 'It's a fascinating story and an important book that richly recounts and illustrates the life and death of the giant bird.

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Earth Changes
Marc Lallanilla
LiveScience
2013-07-25 09:13:00

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It creeps in slowly in the dark of night, and once inside, it almost never goes away.

It's known as the Hum, a steady, droning sound that's heard in places as disparate as Taos, N.M.; Bristol, England; and Largs, Scotland.

But what causes the Hum, and why it only affects a small percentage of the population in certain areas, remain a mystery, despite a number of scientific investigations.

Reports started trickling in during the 1950s from people who had never heard anything unusual before; suddenly, they were bedeviled by an annoying, low-frequency humming, throbbing or rumbling sound.

The cases seem to have several factors in common: Generally, the Hum is only heard indoors, and it's louder at night than during the day. It's also more common in rural or suburban environments; reports of a hum are rare in urban areas, probably because of the steady background noise in crowded cities.
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Daily Mail UK
2013-07-26 10:14:00

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Many Americans are reaching for their jackets less than a week after a sweltering heat wave pushed temperatures to record highs, as a cold front sweeps across the country that's expected to last up to two weeks.

The cooler weather, which will sink temperatures between 5 and 20 degrees lower than July averages, will primarily affect the Upper Midwest, causing thunderstorms from Michigan to Illinois to eastern Missouri on Friday.

Temperatures on Friday will average 75 degrees Fahrenheit in Chicago, 70 degrees in Boston and 86 degrees in Charlotte, N.C. Saturday looks to be a little cooler than Friday.

'The quick change of air mass to cool Canadian air is unusual in that the northwest flow is also going to last a week or two,' said Bill Karins, a meteorologist for NBC News. 'Typically a cool spell in the summer would last one or two days.'

The cool air comes as a relief after a week of excessive warmth that baked every region of the country with several days of record-breaking highs pushing the heat index above 100 degrees.

Last week should be the worst of the summer in terms of heat, according to Boston meteorologist David Epstein.

Saying that he believes the worst of the heat is over, Epstein explained that severe heatwaves aren't sustainable as the summer wears on due to a number of factors including less daylight and the sun being at a lower angle, 'the likelihood of a weeklong heat wave starts to diminish.'
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US Geological Survey
2013-07-26 03:04:00

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Event Time
2013-07-26 07:07:17 UTC
2013-07-26 18:07:17 UTC+11:00 at epicenter

Location
15.362°S 167.584°E depth=135.5km (84.2mi)

Nearby Cities
48km (30mi) ENE of Luganville, Vanuatu
274km (170mi) NNW of Port-Vila, Vanuatu
615km (382mi) N of We, New Caledonia
760km (472mi) N of Dumbea, New Caledonia
760km (472mi) N of Paita, New Caledonia

Technical Details
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Ben Johnson
Star Tribune
2013-07-25 21:33:00

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A break in neighboring cities' water main created a 20-foot hole and closed the city's busiest intersection for three weeks.

On the morning of June 22, the bottom of a 36-inch water main in the heart of Robbinsdale burst, peeling back several feet of concrete-coated steel pipe like a can of sardines.

Over the next 40 minutes, an estimated 600,000 gallons of water blasted downward, creating a hole 20 feet deep at the city's busiest intersection.

"This is your worst nightmare," said Crystal City Engineer Tom Mathisen, who supervised the repairs. "It's always kind of hair-pulling, but yet, because we do this kind of stuff all of the time, there's a process to do it."

The complete repair and reconstruction of the giant Robbinsdale Sinkhole was finished in three weeks, an impressive feat considering the magnitude and complexity of the damage. Water gushing from the broken water main bored down 10 feet and destroyed a sanitary sewer line, which filled with sand and dirt. Then water, dirt and debris churned upward, taking out a storm sewer pipe that sat less than a foot above the water main.

The water continued to drive toward the surface, and eventually popped off several manhole covers, flooding the intersection of 42nd Avenue (County Rd. 9) and Bottineau Boulevard (Hwy. 81) around 10 a.m. In a stroke of luck, a nearby gas line was unscathed and no one was injured.

"I certainly have to commend the [various public works departments] for how quickly they turned the water off ... and then repaired it," said Robbinsdale Mayor Regan Murphy. "It was an amazing response - I mean, it was a 20-foot hole, and they had [Hwy. 81] open in two weeks,"

The repairs were especially tricky because the water main takes two slight turns near the break, one at a 45-degree angle and one at a 12-degree angle. The bends had to be replaced with custom piping, which was trucked in overnight from Dayton, Ohio.

"Thirty-six-inch ductile iron pipe is not something you just keep on your shelf," said Mathisen.

There was speculation that the blowout was related to the severe weather that ripped through the Twin Cities June 21-22, but city officials say that the break was probably a result of a leak that slowly built for years. Mathison pointed out clusters of pinholes around the spot where the 50-year-old pipe burst as evidence of it weakening over time.
Comment: Sinkholes are becoming a worldwide phenomenon and cities are quick to blame old pipes and inclement weather. However, it is odd that all these pipes are somehow bursting at the same time. It appears that the surface of the earth is literally giving way:
Sinkholes - A Sign of the Times?
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Meg Ming
CNN
2013-07-25 08:04:00

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Four months after he built a new, two-story brick house in his village in northern China's Shandong Province, Xiao Guoqiang was alarmed to find a huge crack on the living room wall.

Having seen homes in neighboring villages sink, Xiao realized his long-held fears were coming true.

"I knew the day was coming, but I didn't expect it to happen so soon," said Xiao, who has been forced to move from the land -- on which four generations of his family have lived -- as a consequence.

Xiao's hometown, Jining, is one of China's "coal cities," whose mineral wealth helps light up the night skies of the world's most energy-hungry country. The land here is honeycombed with coal mines, which can form massive sinkholes that leave thousands of homes uninhabitable every year.

Ten years ago, the area where Xiao lived was a vibrant farming community on the North China Plain. But sinkholes are devouring 20 million square meters (7.7 square miles) of land here a year, according to the Jining Land Resource Bureau, and have displaced an estimated 100,000 people, mostly farmers and their families, over the past decade.

By 2090, the bureau predicts one third of the city -- an area as large as Los Angeles -- will fall into the earth, and an estimated 5 million people will have been forced out of the region by the problem.
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Fire in the Sky
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Health & Wellness
Adam Withnall and Charlie Cooper
The Independent
2013-07-25 16:40:00

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A leaked report has revealed that thousands more elderly people died in the past year than the Government had expected, particularly in poorer areas of the country.

Labour called for an "urgent investigation" into the findings, and said the Coalition needs to "be honest" about whether cuts to social care budgets over the past three years have contributed to the spike in mortality rates.

The increase in deaths has been most striking amongst women aged 85 and over, and that rise is the driving force behind alarming statistics which suggest around 600 more people than expected are dying every week, the analysis revealed.

The document, made public by the Health Service Journal, reveals that number-crunchers at Public Health England have been "tracking the mortality summaries to determine if last year's unwelcome increase in mortality in older age may be continuing."
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Ben Ingram
TimesColonist
2013-07-23 16:42:00

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While debate rages on over the effects of wireless technology on human health, those who claim a hypersensitivity to electromagnetism have called on B.C. Ferries to provide options to limit their exposure.

Louise Campbell of Nanoose Bay says her sensitivity to wireless devices can make a ferry ride to the Mainland a nightmare.

"For me, my day is thinking about how long I can spend in the mall, because there's Wi-Fi in the mall. If I'm going to a friend's house, I have to ask them to turn the Wi-Fi off," she said.

Campbell claims her condition causes her to become lightheaded when exposed to wireless devices.

A two-hour trip into the city can leave her fatigued for the rest of the day. Campbell avoids restaurants, coffee shops, movie theatres and anywhere she expects exposure.

The situation impelled Campbell to call on B.C. Ferries to provide a way to limit exposure to the ship's wireless technology while on voyages to the Mainland.

She is not the first to make the request, said B.C. Ferries spokeswoman Deborah Marshall. Marshall advised people like Campbell to reach out to the customer care department.

"There are some areas on the ship that the signals are quite weak . . . for example, the car decks," she said.
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MayoClinic
2013-07-25 16:53:00
Additional psychiatric issues more likely, including suicidal thoughts, anxiety.

Bipolar disorder evolves differently in patients who also binge eat, a study by Mayo Clinic, the Lindner Center of HOPE and the University of Minnesota found. Binge eating and obesity often are present among bipolar patients, but the mood disorder appears to take a different path in those who binge eat than it does in obese bipolar patients who do not, the researchers discovered. The findings are published online in the Journal of Affective Disorders.

Up to 4 percent of Americans have some form of bipolar illness, and of those, just under 10 percent also have binge eating disorder - a higher rate of binge eating than seen in the general population, says co-author Mark Frye, M.D., a psychiatrist and chair of the Department of Psychiatry/Psychology at Mayo Clinic in Rochester. The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5) update released this spring recognizes binge eating disorder as a distinct condition, he noted.
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Mike Hart, MD
Primal Docs
2013-07-26 14:46:00

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Fish oil has been touted as the latest breakthrough supplement that contributes to latitude of health benefits. It has gained popularity among cardiologists, athletes and the everyday person. There are varying degrees of evidence to back up the many claims made about fish oil and while the jury is still out on some of the claims, there are many benefits to supplementing with fish oil.

It is important to understand how fish oil produces its effects. The main benefit is the high omega-3 content derived from the fish oil. More specifically, Docosa Hexanoic Acid (DHA) and Eicosa Pentanoic Acid (EPA) are two key omega-3 fatty acids that produce anti-inflammatory effects in our bodies, while omega 6 fatty acids produce pro-inflammatory effects (19). The reason omega-3 supplementation may be effective is the high content of omega-6 in the Standard North American Diet (19). The ideal ratio is approximately 1:1 and 1:3 of omega 3-to omega-6, whilst the average North American has a ratio closer to 1:21! (19). One mistake many people make is supplementing with flaxseeds. Flaxseeds have a high content of omega 3 fatty acids; unfortunately only about 5% of the omega 3 fatty acids in flaxseeds get converted to the usable form of DHA and EPA (18).

Inflammation has recently been suspected to be a culprit in the current rise of chronic diseases and dysfunctions such as CVD, diabetes, Alzheimer's and obesity. Reducing inflammation to appropriate levels is essential to maintain optimal health; the omega-3 fatty acids in fish oil may be a key factor in reducing inflammation.
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Science of the Spirit
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High Strangeness
Scott C Waring
ufosightingsdaily.com
2013-07-21 10:47:00

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Date of sighting: July 21, 2013
Location of sighting: Earths Sun

These UFO have been recorded by SOHO for years, but more and more people are finding out about it today, which will one day force NASA to come up with a truth or lie as a response. Now please understand this is not a small thing but these objects are near the size of our Earth. Look closely and you will see these objects are not on fire, not leaving a tail like a comet and not as hot as the sun. Instead these objects look calm, cold and unscathed by the heat. That...should not be possible.

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Don't Panic! Lighten Up!
Mark Steel
The Independent, UK
2013-07-25 22:17:00

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What a week! Oh such boundless joy that transports us to the very heavens! It began with Nicholas Witchell gasping statements such as: "I am informed the royal cervix has currently widened to 9cm, and the Queen is said to be 'thrilled' at this level of dilation."

"The world waits" were the words the BBC put up, and indeed the whole world was thinking of nothing else. Somali fishermen abandoned their nets, saying: "Today I cannot concentrate on mackerel to feed my village, as we pray that Nicholas Witchell soon brings us news of the royal head emerging." In shanty towns of Sao Paulo, the destitute stopped begging to mark the event, declaring: "The breaking of the royal waters certainly puts our trifles into perspective."

Then he came, and even before we saw him we could tell he was majestic, glorious, divine, and the rest of us should show our gratitude by self-harming with scissors, as a sign of our pathetic humility next to his exalted magnificence. In Parliament, our representatives gave thanks, with speeches such as: "May we convey our sincerest, deepest, cosmic and interplanetary congratulations, that are yet miserably inadequate on such an orgasmic occasion, to the infinitely immaculate Royal Family upon the birth of the perfect one, and may we on this side of the House offer a selection of limbs we have severed with rusty implements as a gesture of our gratitude to their everlasting marvellousness."